An Excerpt from Lord of the Rings: Bombadil's 16th Song

From our newest masterpiece, The Lord of the Rings: Tom Bombadil Edition, we present one of Bombadil's most delightful and whimsical songs.  Feel free to sing along as you read!

As Bombadil took the Hobbits' dinner plates, he began to dance and sing another song, which went as follows: 

Tom’s a merry Bombadil,
His songs are full of laughter.
He sings them all the night and day
Through six or seven chapters.
Ring the dong a dally-o
Six or seven Chapters.

Plate 12: The Hobbits are once again filled with wonder and delight as Bombadil launches into another merry tune.

When the world was first begun,
Tom climbed a mountain top.
He started to sing his gayest songs
And it seems he hasn’t stopped.
Dong the bong the billy bob
It seems he can’t be stopped.

I’ll sing and dance a merry jig,
And prance around and shout,
And do a bunch of other stuff
That you don’t care about.
Hi the ho a dilly-o
You sure don’t care about.

But if you try to skip ahead,
My singing for to quell,
Just wait ‘till you see how many songs
They sing in Rivendell.
Dilly derpy dumpy-o
Just wait ‘till Rivendell.

From The Lord of the Rings, Modern Illustrated Classics Edition. By J.R.R. Tolkien et al.  Ill. by Henry "Soupcan" Sanchez.  Preorder your copy today!

Introducing: The Go Set a Watchman Collection

If you love Southern literature and huge disappointments, we have no doubt that Go Set a Watchman already holds a special place in your heart.  The text - Harper Lee’s early draft of To Kill a Mockingbird - was initially rejected, then heavily edited to become the masterpiece we all know today.  But the publishers of Watchman were bold enough to ask: what if someone could pass off that crappy first draft as a sequel? Could they make tons of money? I bet so!

With this success story in mind, Modern Illustrated Classics would like to present the Go Set a Watchman collection.  Over a dozen failed drafts of classic works, each more embarrassing than the last.  We personally guarantee that each story will be 100 percent half-baked, and will ruin the way you think of at least one of your favorite literary characters.

The collection includes:

• Whatever the hell version of The Hobbit it was that Peter Jackson read.
• Milton’s original draft of Paradise Lost, where Satan is the most interesting character and totally wins in the end.
• That one script where Indiana Jones was a child molester
• Remember at the end of Grapes of Wrath when Tom Joad decides to spend his life fighting for the oppressed and downtrodden? Well in Steinbeck’s first draft, he just talks about how much he hates the Jews.
• A story where Dumbledore was actually Voldemort the whole time!
• Some Old Man and the Sea/Scarface crossover fanfic we found online.
• Actually that Milton thing might just be the original Paradise Lost. That was a weird book.
• And more!

We hope you will preorder a copy of the Go Set a Watchman collection, available wherever childhood heroes are destroyed for money.